I grew up in a particularly rural area, and on a horse farm to boot. For a short phase of my life, I aspired of being a cowboy. I would grow up to wear boots, herd cattle, tip my hat, and be an authentic Marlboro Man. It wasn’t long before the phase had passed, and my love for the simple life had devolved into a dark, wretched loathing.

I traded my cowboy hat for a necktie, my boots for a briefcase, and cattle for computers. I dreamt of climbing a corporate ladder somewhere. I had scene the movies. I knew what a cubical was. I wanted one. I wanted to work in my little cubicle where I could sneak and play Tetris when my boss wasn’t making his rounds. I became fascinated with it.

The thing was… there were no skyscrapers full of cubicles in my hometown. I didn’t know of a single soul who worked in one, or who had their own cubicle. This was a minor obstacle, but nothing large enough to deter me from my dream. My imagination is pretty lucid, at times, and somewhere between my wanting to know what people did in their cubicles, and my not being able to find out, I made up my own facts.

I finished my adolescence knowing that people sat in their cubicles, typed things into their computers, and printed things out. They put these printings into manila envelopes, folders, and file cabinets. Sometimes they would have to take the printings to other locations, so they carried briefcases. Their briefcases contained manila envelopes, calculators, business cards, and pens. Their bosses would sit behind their computers and read reports on how many papers their employees had printed and filed that week, and when you didn’t print or file enough, your boss would yell at you.

This is my perception, and I maintain it to this day. I still have no clue as to why people carry briefcases, and what could possibly be so important that it couldn’t just be left in the office. I guess it’s just one of the great mysteries of life.

*yeah, I know this blows, but I’m sleepy and I’ve rewritten the ending like 6 times. maybe I’ll remember where I was going with this crap and edit it tomorrow*